Why (most) Men Don't Have to Hear "You're Enough"

So I just recently saw the video of the interactive mirror promoted by the band The Mrs.  here's the link . I cried, of course, and was very touched because I, like most women, have not felt like I was enough in the past because of something about my physical experience. Then I got to thinking, why are there not links all over the internet where men describe themselves to a portrait artist and then a total stranger describes them, showing their true beauty, or where they go to an interactive mirror and get a little boost of empowerment? And then I realized, most men don't need that. Men aren't told their whole lives that they are worth less than the next guy if their waist band is bigger or their face not perfectly symmetrical or anything else from the laundry list of physical attributes women are graded on in society. Men are judged by career and life successes first, physicality being an afterthought. Of course men have body issues of their own and society has stigmas and expectations for men as well, but they just are not as damaging as those forced onto women. Men's self worth rarely comes from how their hair looked that day or how many compliments they received on their new top. But I know girls who come home after a successful day at work or school and are bummed out because they had a prominent pimple or a stain on their shirt, I've been that girl. To use Marilyn Frye's bird cage metaphor, this devaluation of women solely based on their outward appearance is simply one bar in the cage of the oppression of women, but it is also intertwined in almost every other bar of the cage. Career and life accomplishments are belittled based on appearance; if a woman is attractive, she slept her way to the top and it not fully respected, if a woman is ugly, that is more of a focus when people discuss her than her actual accomplishments. Outward appearance also plays a role in another bar in the cage. Violence, and particularly sexual violence, towards women is defined and dismissed by her looks; if she's attractive, she was asking for it, if not, she should feel flattered that someone would actually want to have sex with her. I could go on and on about how physical appearance is used to define women in all different aspects of life, giving countless examples from the media to my personal life, but then this post would turn into a book. The point is, few men would relate to a video telling them "you're enough", while almost all women watching that video would feel some sort of connection and familiarity with the feelings those women are experiencing. Until women are judged on who they are more than on how they look on a grand, societal scale, these videos will still be necessary.

Future Facebook Statuses

So this is a silly little idea I just came up with. I want to compile a list of Facebook statuses that I will be able to write one day. I want this list to reflect my dreams and what I hope to accomplish with my life. It could be argued that success shouldn't have to be shared with 450 acquaintances, but shush, this is fun and I want to do it.

-Spanish minor: check

-SASW don't forget to vote (for me) for officers! The deadline is fast approaching :D

-Just found out where I'll be interning for my final semester as an undergrad. Cannot wait to join the Dallas Children's Advocacy Center in all the good work they do!

-Just got my acceptance letter into the MSW program at Boston University! Massachusetts here I come :D

-And just like that, I have a bachelor's degree.

-Searching for apartments in Boston with Carlos and my parents [enter ridiculously cute/goofy quote from my mother here]

-Who knew deciding between a Human Behavior or a Clinical concentration would be so damn difficult? #help

-Officially a member of the NASW :]

-I said yes! (attached with a picture of an engagement ring from C)

-So I'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with an MSW who's fluent in spanish. The world is my oyster!! Or something less expensive. The world is my vintage jewelry box you found at a garage sale.

-Some ridiculous post about moving across country while also planning a wedding and attempting to find a job post graduate school. This one I'm a little scared of.

-Just got my first job doing something helpful somewhere wonderful!!

-Who knew writing a book about wealth disparity in America would be such a downer?

-I am beyond humbled and grateful to announce that I will be speaking at a TEDtalk in Palo Alto. I'll be debunking whether or not bananas really give you tummy fat, or is it the feminization of poverty? I forget. (this is the one I thought of while drifting off to sleep that made me open up my computer at 2:30 in the morning).

-Annoying post about being pregnant

-Something about Carlos being a rocket scientist

-So I'll be on The Daily Show tonight promoting my book and just generally fawning over Jon Stewart, no big deal.

-Something about my children being perfect

-Bragging about that one time I was on the Daily Show

-video of my children and pets

-cheesy anniversary post about Carlos


Okay that's all I have for now. I'm just extremely excited about what my future holds and hope that a variation of at least some of these actually come to fruition. Good night lovelies, stay golden!

xxo taylor