The Great and Wonderful E

I don't believe I've payed homage to my best friend E lately, and it's time for another post about his beautiful and shining star of a person. College is incredibly fun and you meet a ton of new people, but no one can compare to your childhood, or teenhood, friends. I haven't known E as long as some of my other best friends, but we are as close as if we have (I hope that makes some sort of sense). I visited my friend S last weekend and she articulated what I've been feeling perfectly. No matter how many friends you meet or how well you connect with people in college, no one knows you like your friends from home. No one can tell you what you're trying to say when it just won't come out right. And no one can tell you stories about your own childhood as well as if it had happened to them. This applies to all of my friends, but I've been missing E especially lately. I think we all have, because E is such an incredibly special person. She is an inspiration to lead a healthy and happy life and she is hands down the best listener to every grace the face of this earth. E is a person not everyone appreciates because of her quiet nature. She taught me so many things, but the most important thing she taught me was that quiet doesn't mean anti-social, and that you can find some of the world's greatest beauty in the mind of someone who isn't the center of attention. Her gems of wisdom and comforting reassurance are some of things I miss most about her. But mostly I just miss talking and hanging out with her, because even if we were just pigging out and making blanket forts, we would still have incredible conversations. I am so excited that I get to see her next week because I have missed her so so so so so much! I truly believe that I will never meet anyone else like her. If you are lucky enough to ever have E come dancing into your life, treasure her. Because she will teach you so much about the world and about yourself, and she will teach you to love yourself. I fancy myself a decent writer, but this girl blows everyone out of the water with her beautiful words. I strive to capture her essence of love and joy every day, and I am so lucky to be able to call her my best friend.

                                That's E on the left and me on the right at M's Christmas party last year <3

Wishing you many stunningly wonderful and inspiring best friends,

xxo taylor

Freaking. Out.

I AM GOING TO ACL!!!!!!!!!!

Yes.
Yes.
Austin City Limits.
Yes.
I am soooooooo excited!!!!!
So excited that I can't even make this an eloquent blog post.
I'm kind of worried about myself.
Because I've never actually been to a real concert. And I'm about to see almost every one of my favorite bands. I may go into shock.

I AM SO EXCITED!!!


Anndddd!! I haven't even told you the best part.

MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO!!
And a shit ton of my friends live in Austin.
And my friends A and M are going too!!
And I get to see my big sister!!!!
Like.
Holy shit.
I did not think things like this happened.
I am so freaking excited.
Now I am going to list the bands I'm going to see because I can think of nothing else fuck homework!


The Wombats
Tegan and Sara
Trampled by Turtles!!!!!
Alabama Shakes!
THE BLACK KEYS!!!!!!!! (this could only be made more perfect if they play songs from BlakRoc)
Bombay Bicycle Club
Metric
Big Gigantic
Band of Skulls
The Shins!!!!! :DDDDDD !!!!!!!!
Gotye
Kimbra
Stars
Two Door Cinema Club!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Lumineers!!!
THE AVETT BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Childish Gambino!! :DDD !!!!
And, of course, the one and only Red Hot Chili Peppers!



I have lost all ability to even. I can't even. Words are not real.

okay bye



xxo taylor

Quote Collector

I enjoy quotes. As does the average person I think. But I have them strewn everywhere. on random pieces of paper, on notes in my my phone, saved as pictures on my computer. So I've decided to get myself a journal that I can write all my favorite quotes in. Until I can gather the time and money to go out and get myself one (because I want it to be nice) I'm going to be posting installments of quotes I love on here so that it's all nice and organized :] Enjoy!

Shine like fire,
That mirrors nothing
          -"Nuances of a Theme by Williams" by Wallace Stevens

Pour the unhappiness out
From your too bitter heart
Which grieving will not sweeten.
        -"Another Weeping Woman" by Wallace Stevens

Men are more interesting in books 
than they are in real life.
         -Isola Pribby from The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaper and Annie Barrows
(I don't agree with this any more, considering I've fallen in love. But it's still a good quote :] )

And after restoring someone's life I don't think
I have to be bloody religious to go where I need to go.
        -Dr. Jawad, a plastic surgeon who operates on women in the Middle East who's husbands pour acid on their faces

What do people not want to talk about?
Soccer. Jazz. Infidelity!!!
        -Jack Donagey 30 Rock (had to throw in a silly one :] )

There is only one way to achieve lasting happiness.
That way is simply: Be happy.
       -Zen & The Art of Happiness by Chris Prentiss

We must learn to live together, 
or we will perish as fools.
       -John Lewis

By the time you swear you're his,
     Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
      Infinite, undying-
Lady, make a note of this:
      One of you is lying.
            -"Unfortunate Coincidence" by Dorothy Parker

"next to of course god america i
love you land of the pilgrims' and so forth oh
say can you see by the dawn's early my
country 'tis of centuries come and go
and are no more what of it we should worry
in every language even deafanddumb 
thy sons acclaim your glorious name by gorry
by jingo by gee by gosh by gum
why talk of beauty what could be more beau-
tiful than these heroic happy dead
who rushed like lions to the roaring slaughter
they did not stop to think they died instead
then shall the voice of liberty be mute?"

He spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water
               -"next to of course god america i" by E.E Cummings

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies.
               -"She Walks in Beauty" by George Gordon (Lord Byron)

When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has gleaned my teeming brain.
                -"When I Have Fears" by John Keats

How do I love the? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
                -from Sonnets from the Portugues by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils.
            -"I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud" by William Wordsworth

No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Than you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell.
          -Sonnet 71 by William Shakespeare

But cursed are dullards whom no cannon stuns,
That they should be as  stones.
Wretched are they, and mean
With paucity that never was simplicity.
By choice they made themselves immune
To pity and whatever moans in man.
               -"Insensibility" by Wilfred Owen

I had a thought for no one's but your ears;
That you were beautiful, and that I strove
To love you in the high old way of love;
That it had all seemed happy, and yet we'd grown
As weary-hearted as the hollow moon."
                -"Adam's Curse" by William Butler Yeats

Bright as the sun, her eyes the gazers strike,
And, like the sun, they shine on all alike.
Yet graceful ease, and sweetness void of pride,
Might hide her faults, if belles had faults to hide:
If to her share some female errors fall,
Look on her face, and you'll forget 'em all.
              -"The Rape of the Lock" by Alexander Pope

Whenas in silks my Julia goes,
Then, then, methinks, how sweetly flows
That liquefaction of her clothes.
             -"Upon Julia's Clothes" by Robert Herrick

For me, the most ironic token of that moment in history
is the plaque signed by President Richard M. Nixon that Apollo 11
took to the Moon. It reads 'We came in peace for all mankind.'
As the United States was dropping 7.5 megatons of 
conventional explosives on small nations in Southeast Asia, we congratulated
ourselves on our humanity: We would harm no one on a lifeless rock."
              -Carl Sagan

Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

You are like
a fresh cup
of warm coffee,
first thing 
in the morning.

I am tired;
weary with the burden
of long-closed eyes
and slumber, and
the prior day's exhaustion.

But if my day
begins with you
I know no task
can challenge me.
           - I have no idea who this is by

sometimes i am alive because with
me her alert treelike body sleeps
which i will feel slowly sharpening
becoming distinct with love slowly,
who in my shoulder sinks sweetly teeth
until we shall attain the Springsmelling
intense large togethercoloured instant

the moment pleasantly frightful

when, her mouth suddenly rising, wholly
begins with mine fiercely to fool
(and from my thighs which shrug and pant
a murdering rain leapingly reaches the
upward singular deepest flower which she
carries in a gesture of her hips)
             - or this one...

Someone asked me 
what home was
and all I could think of
were the 
stars
on the tip of your
tongue.
the
flowers
sprouting
from your mouth
the 
roots
entwined in 
the gaps
between your fingers
the ocean 
echoing 
inside of your 
ribcage.
        -this one just says EC so I kinda think it's E.E Cummings but I don't know

You are my sun,
my moon,
and all my stars.
       -E.E Cummings

What comes easy won't last
What lasts won't come easy.
         -Also no idea where this is from.



Hope you enjoyed some of them :]
Good night all!!

xxo taylor

E's Beautiful Playlist

My dearest E, I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get this up. But here it is! As you've asked, here is a playlist of some beautiful music, either in message or melody. Enjoy! <3

Mightiest of Guns- A.A Bondy
For You- Angus and Julia Stone
And the Boys- Angus and Julia Stone
Murder in the City- The Avett Brothers
Just a Game- Birdy
Sea of Love- Cat Power
The Scientist- Coldplay
Like a Star- Corinne Bailey Rae
Clementine- The Decemberists
O Mistress Mine- from the "The Tempest" soundtrack
Sleeping- The Swell Season
End of the World- Ingrid Michaelson
You Are You Are- Lucy Schwartz
Rosie's Lullaby- Norah Jones (this has been my obsession for years and years and years)
The Mermaid Parade- Phosphorescent
Dream- Priscilla Ahn
Lullaby- Priscilla Ahn
Duet- Rachel Yamagata
Hazy- Rosi Golan ft. William Fitzsimmons
Eet- Regina Spektor
Poses- Rufus Wainwright
Video- India Arie
Brown Skin- India Arie
Your Song- Elton John cover by Ellie Golding
Trouble Sleeping- Corinne Bailey Rae

These are songs that I find just gorgeous and really calming. I hope you enjoy them :] there's a mixture of genre, so I'm sure you'll find some favorites :]
I miss you so so much!! Love you E <3

xxo taylor

Yes, I'm in a Long Distance Relationship, No, It's None of Your Fucking Business

As the title very blatantly states, I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of six and half months. Stop right there, I'll say it for you. Y'all are so young! It's not worth it! You're not going to have the full college experience! Shut up. These are all things I heard from this 21 year old girl as I was sitting outside my friends' residence hall just talking and meeting new people. The girl, Baltimore, cause she's from Maryland, heard me mention that I didn't want to be the lame one and skip a frat party to skype my boyfriend, but that's probably what I was going to end up doing. She, very condescendingly, said "Oh! You're in a long distance relationship? Tell me about him!" So I told the story of how we ended up dating and everything and then she went on a whole rant about how last semester she spent the whole time in a long distance relationship, with a guy from fucking D.C.!, not a guy five hours away like C. And she just had tunnel vision and she always wanted to break up but he would always convince her to stay with him. Well bitch, I'm 99% sure I'm going to marry this kid. So back the fuck off. She then said "You've only been together six and half months and you think you're going to spend the rest of your life with him??!?!" Yes. This whole thing went on for about fifteen minutes, with my friend A.G agreeing with her and this girl I just met A.R backing me up, she's nice. I like her. So now I'm in even less of a mood to go to some frat party where I'm going to be judged on what I'm wearing if I can get in to hang out with a bunch of douche bags because some girl, who kept saying "You're young, you're young." bitch is three fucking years older than I am, decides to shit all over my relationship. Yes, I am an idealistic person. I think I can save Africa. But what I do in my free time and who I decide to be with, is nobody else's fucking business. Basically what I think it comes down to is people throw rocks at things that shine because they're so unhappy with their pathetic lives to be genuinely happy for someone who just might have found the love of their lives at the age of 18. I'm not judging her for being a 21 year old sophomore, don't judge me and act all holier than thou because you had one shitty experience with an over controlling guy who lives like, 22 hours away (I admit, I google mapped how far D.C was from where I am.) So, ladies and gentlemen, if you every happen to run into someone who's in a long distance relationship, whatever your opinion is, especially if it's a negative one, they've heard before and sure as shit don't need to hear it again. Just wish them the best and hope that it works out for them. Because we need a whole lot more love in the world, so why would you tell someone that their's isn't real or strong enough or going to last? It literally has zero affect on you what so ever.

still seething, taylor

ps. my apologies for the language in this post, but I'm really fucking livid.

Women are Three Dimensional

E has inspired me once again in a way that only E can do :] She sent me this article

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2zkS0e/:swUx7PKY:PfDAGE66/www.elle.com/Life-Love/Sex-Relationships/Walter-Kirn-on-Sex-Appeal/

which I advise you take the five minutes to read instead of skimming over it like it is always so tempting to do. Readdyyyy, go!

All right. At first, I loved it. Really did. I was like, yay! "Plain" girls getting noticed! Femininity and sexuality come in all shapes and sizes! And then I started to think. All shapes and sizes. So then, why are the stereotypically pretty girls automatically written off? If I were to go out clubbing (as I've only done once and it was a total disaster, which included E, P and C) then I'd definitely dress up! Put on those uncomfortable glass slippers the writer harps on and on about and do my hair and put on a freak 'em dress, etc. Now, I don't consider any of my friends plain. I think they're all unbelievably stunning (which could be a testament to their awesome personalities as well as genetics. who knows) but even if one of them put on flats because they're easier to dance in and a more comfortable outfit, that doesn't mean they're automatically more interesting or less pretty than I am. Yes, people, especially women, express themselves through their clothing. I sure as hell do. But you cannot immediately assume one girl is a snobby, self-satisfied bitch who only drug the other, less vibrant but also more intellectual girl along because she'd make her, the bitch, look better. This is just another example of men compartmentalizing women into neat, one dimensional categories so it's easier for them to pick from the grand selection of pussy set out for them. Okay, okay. This guy really is looking for something special. For someone of substance to have a conversation that may lead to a meaningful relationship with. But who's to say the "prettier" girl can't give him that? Why can't women be fashionable and intelligent? Primped and intriguing? The writer seems to be trying to live by the whole don't-judge-a-book-by-it's-cover mantra but is instead perpetuating it by discriminating against girls with fake tans and boob jobs. You know what? Maybe that beauty pageant pretty girl is a feminist who just likes the way she looks in that dress or with that nose job? It doesn't have to be because society told her to surgically perfect herself or because she's trying to please some guy. It is possible for a girl to look good for herself, not for a condescending male who's trying really hard to appeal to feminists. But feminists shouldn't be about putting down the mainstream form a pretty to make themselves feel better. We should be about lifting up all women of literally all shapes and sizes, including 00 and enlarged bra sizes. No one second guesses a hot male brain surgeon's intelligence if his face is symmetrical and he has well fitted pants. Why do we have to immediately label all conventionally pretty girls uninteresting? This article really frustrated me because this guy is trying to read into people's souls just by judging what they're wearing. Dude. It's a dress that makes my ass look good while pop lockin' and droppin' it on girls' night out. Calm the fuck down.

xxo taylor.

Healthy Mind, Healthy Body, Healthy Spirit

As you may have read in my I Work Out post (http://livenaturallyblog.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-work-out.html) I have been getting into shape. Yeahhhh buddy :] I've noticed as I've gotten healthier that I am constantly changing my routine to better fit myself. My most recent decision has been to listen to books as I run and work out instead of dirty rap (although I do love myself some Kanye or Gambino) to also facilitate a healthy mind as I facilitate my healthy body. I am ever working on letting my inner beauty and self shine through. I've also noticed as I've been eating better and working out that if I ever skip a run or eat bad food, I feel bad. Not guilty, although that sometimes does happen, but I feel sluggish and tired and sick. It really doesn't make sense to me anymore to not work out and eat healthy and get enough sleep, because it doesn't allow me to be my best self. Hope y'all are all staying happy, healthy, and shiny!

xo taylor

Things I Love Thursdays

Got this idea from http://galadarling.com/, my self-love guru. So every Thursday I'm going to make a list of things that are making me happy or that I particularly love that week :] If I'm ever feeling low, I'll just look at my latest list and decide to focus on all the things I love about life!
Here we go!

1. SUMMER!
2. Family (I just had a ton in town for my graduation, which brings me to the next thing I love)
3. No longer being a high school student!!!
4. Waking up from bad dreams: I just had a horrible one last night and there's no greater feeling than waking up a realizing it isn't real
5. Sorry to get all cheesy on you but, my boyfriend C :]
6. Planning my road trip with my best friends J, A and S!! :DDDD
7. Being lazy
8. Working out and eating healthy (I feel amazing ALL the time!)
9. Conversely, those little mini diet coke cans. My big sister A was here this weekend and showed me how she squeezes a little lime into them. So good!
10. My dogs :]
11. Darren Criss.
12. Darren Criss.
13. Summer hats
14. New clothes :D
15. Pictures of Darren Criss shirtless
16. Cleaning out my closet and finding adorable clothes I totally forgot about
17. Laying out by the pool
18. Art projects
19. Not putting on makeup
20. Darren Criss


All righty, there's my list :] Remember to always be grateful and try to come up with your own list!

xxo taylor

I'm a Feeler

So, this evening, I went to my High School's recognition ceremony where everyone gets awards for being absolutely amazing as all my friends are :] Unfortunately, many people are underrepresented and over looked at things like these, and, not to sound full of myself, but I am one of those people. I also feel that my friends E and C and S and K and A and M and many others are also overlooked. Before you go on, you should read E's post

http://eandpguidetolife.tumblr.com/post/21577641127/on-dots-and-stars

about how to base merit and how to view yourself. I keep reminded myself of the dots and stars story, but I'm not nearly as amazing as E is and I'm more self conscious than I like to admit so most of the time I'm walking around clinging to the few stars I have and trying to ignore the many dots burdening me. Anyway. This particular evening, I spent hours trying to find something to wear because it's one of those days where you don't feel pretty in anything, and end up with thousands of dresses forming a threatening mountain on your bed and a screaming fight with your mother. Then, I was already a bit bitter because, and now I'm letting myself gloat, I have spent SO MUCH of my time these past four years bettering my high school by being over involved in student council, coming to all the meetings, being Student Body Treasurer this year, and I have never gotten a lick of appreciation recognition. I've never been Teen of the Month, I've never been Who's Who and I sure as hell wasn't nominated for All Westerner. Even though I've done more for that school than the majority of the class. I know it sounds incredibly petty, and deep down I understand that I am not what some middle aged high school administrators think of me, but it would have been nice to have been recognized with more than just a certificate that says Student Body Treasurer. Like, some scholarship money that comes with those awards would have been nice. Anyway, so now you know all that was going on inside my head. Well. Then Mr. W, the Student Body sponsor and Assistant Principle of Activities at my school, who's office, I might add, I have been in at least three times a week this entire school year for a minimum of thirty minutes each time. I know the guy. Well, he got up and was opening the ceremony and thanking all the Student Body officers and forgot my name. Yes yes. He went through "J & G, Student Body Co-Presidents, K, Student Body VP, S, Student Body Secretary and- oh gosh I'm drawing a blank here I feel like Rick Perry." Then someone yelled "Taylor!" and everyone laughed, and I did too, because it was a good save. But god fucking dammit, wasn't that just the cherry on top of a lovely evening?

I really do understand that it was an honest mistake, and I'm not mad at the guy at all, I know there was nothing malicious about it, but it still makes me feel shitty about myself. Anyway, the whole reason I'm even writing this post in the first place is because I couldn't vent to my dad about it. I'm the kind of person who has to just get all my feelings out before I can get over it. Sometimes it sucks, but it's just how I'm wired. So I came home from getting froyo with my friends after the ceremony and my dad asked me how I was, because he was there and saw it and everything. And I say shitty and he starts just ripping me a new one. Going on about how I have a great life and he'd be a shitty father if he let me wallow in self-pity, that Smiths (that's not our last name, but I gotta make sure no creepy serial killer rapists get me) don't let this shit bother them yada yada yada. So I start yelling about how I'm not like him, I can't just not give a shit about what people do, I wish I could but I can't and he just needs to let me talk it for two seconds and I'll be fine but apparently, the Smiths aren't understanding either so I'll just have to go talk to someone else! Then I stalked off to my room, slammed the door and here I am. I get it. My dad grew up in an impoverished family with six kids and an alcoholic, abusive father and an unhealthily codependent mother. He pretty much moved out of the house at fifteen and then hitch hiked from Texas to New York to California and didn't go to college till he was thirty and had to pay his own way through. He didn't survive that shit by caring if an administrator forgot his name. But he has to understand that I'm different. I want people to acknowledge the work and effort I've put out there. And he also needs to realize that I'm only 18 years old and still figuring out who I am and people forgetting my name isn't the best self esteem booster. Yes. I am trying to be better. Trying to not care about other people so much, and I'm trying to change. But I can't help how I react to things and how they make me feel. And him yelling at me about it only makes me hate that aspect of me more, and aspect that I try to love because I think it's kind and genuine to care and feel.

I think I need to stop myself here or I'm just going to start rehashing every fight my father and I ever had and then end up writing my memoir. Good night loves. Stay positive (I feel hypocritical saying that after this post) Love yourself.

xxo taylor


ps. P got the All Westerner award and she SO DESERVED IT!!!!! Oh my God I was so so excited when they called her name, I wanted to jump up into the air but instead I just whooped really loudly along with M, J and A. She is amazing :]

And Now For Something Entirely Irrelevant!

I've decided to create a new segment devoted to completely irrelevant things that pretty much no one but myself will care about :] Today's Irrelevant post is about Alicia Silverstone. If you've never seen the movie Clueless, then, first, shame on you and second, you have not lived. Not many people appreciate the greatness that is this movie, but I can quote the entire thing and learned many life lessons from it. Anyway! Alicia Silverstone plays Cher, who represents Emma from Jane Austen's novel, Emma. In it, this actor Jeremy Sisto plays a guy named Elton, obviously representing Mr. Elton who's in love with Emma in the novel. Anyway, all of this is just a back story. Jeremy Sisto is now in a new tv show called Suburgatory about a single dad and his hipster, activist, teenage daughter who move from New York city to a suburb and their life adjusting to it. It's not the most smartly written or funniest thing on tv, but I like it. So, I was watching a few nights ago George, Jeremy Sisto's character, has a new love interest named Eden. She looked familiar and once she started talking I realized THAT'S ALICIA SILVERSTONE!!!!! DDDD: I fuh-reaked out! My mind was totally blown! I mean, here are these two actors who were in a movie together like, 20 years ago or something and now they're playing love interests!! I dunno. I thought it was pretty damn amazing. Anyway, I was just so thrilled and couldn't think of anyone who would even remotely care about this as much as I do, so I decided to blog about it :] Hope y'all had a glorious last full week of April and have an even more glorious weekend! Prom is tomorrow, so you know there'll be a post about my fab outfit and even more (redundancy) time :D


















xxo taylor

Daddy's Girl

Two posts in one night?!! I've gotta make up for lost time here :] So today in my english class we had something my glorious and wonderful teacher Mrs. Wickersham calls Polonius day. In Shakespeare's Hamlet, Polonius gives advice to his son Laertes before he sets out on a journey, and it's pretty good advice. So Mrs. Wickersham wrote letters to all of our parents and asked for them to write each of us letters with their own advice since we're all about to go off to college. Isn't she marvelous? (She also gave us her own list of good advice :]) Needless to say, there were many tears and much sharing and it was an all around fabulous day. I really would like to share the letter my father wrote me because it was so beautiful and spoke to me so deeply. (my mother's did as well, but maybe that'll be in another post :] ) So! Here are some experts from my letter from my father that most spoke to me.

      My Dearest Taylor Kaye:
     
            ...Your Emotional Quotient is high... You can get lost in the weight of human suffering- don't do that. Share joy and comfort sorrow; but, be kindest to yourself.

           ...Pray for safety, pray for happiness, pray for health and pray for the ability to live your life with ease. Pray these things for yourself first, then for those you love, then for those you like and finally and most importantly, for your perceive enemies. It works.

          Strive for Enlightenment. ... Never settle. I didn't and look what I got- the woman of my dreams and a family that brings me joy every day.

                                                                           Love you,
                                                                                  Daddy.


Phew! I got teary eyed again just typing those parts up! My father and I have an amazingly close relationship. Actually, I'm very close with both my parents. But my dad understands my struggle with emotion more than my mom does because he's who I get it from. When I say struggle with emotion I mean that I feel things very deeply. Not just my own emotions but for other people as well. If you've ever read Secret Life of Bees then you'll remember the character of May. The twin who is no longer a twin because her sister died, who gets emotional over a squashed cockroach. I am much like May, though to a lesser extent because I am not a literary figure. My daddy and I often have talks about how to deal with my potent emotions and his recently turning to Buddhism has really helped me to find inner peace and acceptance of who I am. He and my mother have raised me incredibly well and I am a little terrified to leave them, but know that they have prepared me accordingly for the world. I would be no where near the same person I am today without their guidance and ever-present, unconditional love. I will forever be grateful for the person they have helped mold me into and hope I can continue to make them proud with my life decisions. This was kind of a random post but I was feeling like reminiscing so I took advantage of my blog :] Good night and sweet dreams! Go hug your parents.

xxo taylor

     

Compassion

We live in a society of apathy. Where being cool means not giving a shit and being over excited or passionate about something is weird. This has translated into being apathetic to our fellow human beings. This can be seen from shows like "A Thousand Ways To Die" to the much talked about issue of bullying, which is being brought to light by the documentary Bully. We've been desensitized to violence and mocking and tell ourselves it's okay to laugh at the kid being made fun of because he's kinda weird and besides, the jocks are just kidding, he needs to learn to take a joke. We have lost the art of compassion, for truly caring for one another for the simple reason that we are all human beings. No one wants to suffer. Everyone wants to be happy. Once we realize that we are all connected by those two simple facts, I believe the world can start to become a better place. In my opinion, high school is where compassion goes to die. Jokes get taken too far because everyone is so concerned with being perceived in the way they want to and making sure that the "popular" kids think the right things about them. I strive to have and show compassion for everyone, but of course sometimes fail in my attempts. This woman really spoke to me and serves as a reminder to always be kind (not nice, a post on that to come later) to every person you see. Because they are a person just like you, and deserve respect for that reason.

I Work Out

Here we go! This is my new and improved plan to have my body show off my inner, beautiful, sexy self. I think it will definitely help for me to post this for God and everyone to see, because I'll probably stick to it better if I know I've bragged about it on the internet :] All righty. I'll start off with food, which I'm going to be much more lenient on... let's be real, it's summer, imma be chowing down on BBQ and froyo. I am only human!!

Eating Habits:

No more than two desserts a week.
In-between-meal snacks must be healthy. i.e. fruit, veggies, fruit/veggies smoothies. etc :]

Work Out Plan:

Stretch every morning!!
Every other day:
Run using Couch to 5K app (GET IT!!) to work up stamina
On non running days- Butt workout app (that's what it's called...)
Every day:
                Abs:
                       30 Crunches
                       30 Up Twists
                       30 Butterfly Crunches
                       30 Throwdowns
                       30 Cross Overs
                Legs:
                         30 Lunges per leg
                         30 Leg raises per leg
                         30 Ballet Bounces
                Arms:
                         5 lb weights

Also, every Saturday I'm going to focus on something.
First Saturday- Arms
2nd Sat.- Legs
3rd- Stomach
4th- Butt

Annndddddd
Every month I'm going to take on a 20-30 day challenge
:D
Phew.
Too much?
I don't think so :]
Of course, my body is used to working out, not intensely but I have worked out on and off for about a year now. If you're just now starting, be sure to pace yourself. And remember, it took more than a meal to gain it, it'll take more than one round of work outs to lose it :]

Some tips:
Drink tons of water! It's good for you metabolism
There are tons of work out challenges and food tips online, especially pinterest (that's where I got all my stuff :])
Stop saying "I'm gonna look like her when I'm done working out" no. you're going to look like you. Beautiful as always, just a little trimmer and healthier :]
Good luck to you if you're going on this beach bod journey with me! Remember to indulge every once in a while ;] much love!!

xxo taylor

Apologies, apologies.

Well! It's finally time to dust off the cobwebs from this here blog. To my (one...two?) readers, I am so so sorry it's been so long. Even though I'm sure your lives have been going on fine without my random musings. So! In Texas, we usually skip over spring and head right into summer, so my first post (after this one...) will be my new workout/eating healthy plan so I can look extra hot in my new bikinis ;] Of course of course, looks aren't everything and I am a strong, beautiful woman no matter my size. But goddam it's nice to make boys do a double take on the beach, am I right? Well, I better get started on this new plan :]

xxo taylor

And Here... We... Go!

I have been neglecting my lovely blog and I apologize. I will be posting my last haireography very soon and then I must come up with a new idea! I'll try to make it creative. I have so much to do this semester and am revving up to be a Super Woman!! I start working out again on Tuesday, homework is about to start drowning me again, One Act auditions are next week, and after that Juilliard auditions... yikes!! And then Math IA's, World Lit. papers, World Topics IA's then testing then more testing then graduation then Summer then college OH MY GOD!!
Okay. I will not let myself get overwhelmed.
I'm actually quite excited about everything :]
Well, that's all for tonight, just a little blurb.
Sweet dreams loves!

xxo taylor

Never Thought of It That Way...

“Get off the scale! You are beautiful. I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when life challenges you. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”

-Steve Maraboli

Two glorious and beautiful and wonderful little bird posted this on their blog and inspired me once again :] Three guesses who. 

Since it's Christmas Break, I've been allowing myself to be very lazy and indulgent. I honestly haven't even gained any weight (I stepping onto the beast just this morning, and still saw the same, daunting number) But the number felt bigger than it usually does. Probably because I'm amping myself up for starting to work out again. But the thought never occurred to me that my scale absolutely cannot measure anything else other than my mass. Zilch. And I'm a hell of a lot more than that stupid three digit number. So! I've decided to make a list (I just love lists, don't you?) of all the wonderful things about myself that my scale can't measure. (keep in mind, I'm allowing myself to be very vain right now)

1. My sexy curves.

2. My unique coloring. (dark dark hair, light skin and beautiful blue eyes)

3. My unending compassion and empathy for others.

4. How deeply I feel things.

5. My absolutely AMAZINGLY WONDERFULLY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT friends :]

6. The magic I feel when I open a new book.

7. The way my family interacts.

8. The look in my dog's eyes when I've hit just the right spot while I'm petting her.

9. How loudly I laugh at the simplest of things.

10. The love I have for my art.

11. My bravery.

12. Did I mention my friends?

13. My ability to love just about everyone unconditionally.

14. My intelligence.

15. The way I smile when I (finally) find a boy I'm enamored with, and him with me.

16. How obsessed with/lost in I get into great stories (currently-The Hunger Games)

17. How much music can touch my soul.

18. The way I snuggle with my mommy.

19. The way my daddy hugs me tight.

20. The way I can fight with my sister and slam doors and yell, and yet ten minutes later be ready to make up and go 

magazine-ing in Barne's and Noble's.

There. A list of twenty amazing things that my scale can never measure. What's on your list?